THE MARRIAGE PUZZLES.

THE MARRIAGE PUZZLES.

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What ware your expectations in going into marriage? A place of problem free? Or perhaps you expected a spouse who could love you as much as you love? You expected to have kids that are healthy, disciplined, and obedient? Or at the age of 28, your expectation was to have your very last child? And now, has things be getting on for you as planned?

We go into marriage with expectation to have all as we planned out in courtship. Little did we know that we have a lot of puzzles to put together when we enter into it.

Love is the most dangerous thing when not understood. That is, marriage is a misery to those who know it, but a beautiful thing to those who understand it. To put a puzzle together requires understanding and observation. It requires enough effort, but nor without getting it wrong, but by trying again and again until we get it right.

The expectation is the patience to make it work. That is how certain puzzles are solved. Occasionally, you may need help to solve some puzzles. Most especially those who had encountered similar puzzles before you, or those who are expert in puzzle solving.

This is very similar to marriage. We may plan it, but things will never always go as planned. Marriage is a union where patience and endurance will be tried to the limit. This is where many people are exposed to reveal their true nature.

If you build the foundation of your marriage on lies and deceit, what do you expect to get out of it? And if your expectation is to get everything out of marriage as planned, then you will get as much as disappointment like anyone else who build castles in the air.

In one of my books I have been working on, and hopefully, it will be published as my first book next year if everything works out as planned. It's a 365-day devotional book that cut across every part of human life, titled, ON THE PLATTER OF GRACE. I wrote a lot about marriage in the book and all I learnt in mine. Hopefully, when the book is out, try as much as possible to get a copy for yourself and for those you feel will find it useful.

You have things to learn to enable you understand marriage. You will have puzzles you will find difficult to solve on your own, and a lot of these puzzles you will come across. Never raise your hope so high that everything will go as planned. Life won't always be fair in your marriage, and will never be to anyone.

Marriage is not in any way simple. This is because marriage is a union of two delicate and complicated beings. It takes a lot to live the rest of your life with someone from different background which may never be as the same as yours.

There are moves you will make that could end your marriage. Not all solutions are good. So, never create a permanent solution for a temporary problem in your marriage. And don't go to your friends or parents or family member if you know they do not have the resume to help save your marriage. You may actually need to hire an expert in marriage counseling to help your marriage.

Don't believe what you always see in any marriage. Not even in the marriage of pastors, most especially those who share their marriage as a place of haven where everything is perfect. If there is peace in any marriage, it doesn't mean there was never war. Peace does not negate the absence of war in any home, but what will invoke peace will be determined by how the war is fought and managed well.

War will only sprout where peace is never given a chance to reign. If every two parties allow peace, there will always be enough to last a lifetime.

Family are family for a reason, and same with friends. They may be there for you when you need them, but never help anyone to help you destroy your marriage when you ought to save it.

Marriage is neither heaven, simply because marriage is not a place created for perfect people, nor marriage is a hell because the idea of marriage is never to burn our world down to the ground.

Do not marry with the hope that you have found someone you could spend the rest of your life with, but because you have found someone you find so hard to live the rest of your life without. Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his spouse.

All marriages come with different challenges and with a lot of puzzles to solve. Nobody ever said that marriage is easy because it is not, but the benefits of marriage surely outweigh any difficulties for those who understand it well enough.

My prayer for you today, may you find the peace that surpasses every understanding in your marriage. The grace to love and bear every imperfection in your spouse, may the LORD bestow upon you. Amen.